My glass is empty. You know, that glass from which all our love and energy pours into everything we do and feel? Yes, mine is drying up.
For a while now I have been watching it happen. I come home from work, feeling like a shell of a woman. My eyes are strained. My throat is scratchy from talking all day. My brain is tired from making decisions all day long. (Decisions which, by the way, I care little about.) My soul feels numb. I come home to a husband and a baby boy and a dog, all of whom want and deserve my love and attention. I try my best. I go through the motions, but it often feels so hollow. You know that feeling when you are trying to squeeze the very last bit of toothpaste from the tube? You press and contort until just that last little bit oozes pathetically from the opening? That's exactly how I feel. I am the remnants of toothpaste from a beat-up old tube.
I simply must find a way to refill my glass. I owe my family more than I am giving them. I owe myself more than I am giving me. It's time to make some changes because if I don't, then I will just be zombie-walking through life. (And even though it's quite seasonally appropriate to zombie-walk, let us remember that zombies are just dead people who are mute and will-less, and who are controlled by evil forces...but I digress.)
And so I'm on a scavenger hunt for happiness and self-fulfillment. Time to fill up the ol' glass once more, drop by drop. I am on a mission: Project Refill.
More to come...